I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
