On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
