I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im holly from the hills drunk
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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