i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
