If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
