My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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