Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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