apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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