U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
