He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
