drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
