I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
