i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
