my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
