im drinking this country out of the recession.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I deserve this hangover.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
