i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize