I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
thus making me awesome and them whores
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
