operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i dont even know how to be here
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
