She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
