We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Alive.
So much puke
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
