Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize