He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
