"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
