I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we made out on top of his cat.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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