Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
