Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
