does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
