okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
