I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ladies don't puke and tell
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
