You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
