so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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