Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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