consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
