just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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