He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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