chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
