I want to make a zoo with you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
