yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize