i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
