dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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