non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize