I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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