Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
