Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
