Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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