so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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