just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
