I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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