Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
