Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
