Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
