her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
