The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
