I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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