my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
