so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
