Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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