I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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