eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
