She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
