my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
