you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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